Scooter "Jumping All Over The World"

I bought this record because

1. It is by SCOOTER.

2. I had read on the BBC News that it had become the UK's number one best selling album, knocking Madonna off the top stop.

3. It came with a limited edition bonus CD of the greatest hits of SCOOTER.

Yeah. If you are a person of discernment you will be familiar with SCOOTER, the teutonic techno sensations. The group comprises three fellows – Rick J. Jordan, H.P. Baxxter the MC (who also goes by the names Dave, MC Dave, Whistling Dave, and The Chicks Terminator), and the mysterious other guy. They keep the mystery of the other guy fresh by changing him every couple of albums, with the current model being one Michael Simon, third or fourth replacement of the early line-up's Ferris Bueller.

Anyway, Jumping All Over The World is SCOOTER's umpeenth album and represents something of a change of direction for the band. Fatherhood and general ageing have led to a new maturity, with H.P. Baxxter's raps now covering environmental degradation, the problems of the Middle East, and questions of where the human race is going. Or so you might think, but you would be wrong. In fact this record is just like all the others by the band, full of stonking dancefloor classics that make you want to riggetty riggetty rock all night long. It is hard to really say much about this record other than IT IS AWESOME – GO AND BUY IT.

Yeah. The other thing you can say about SCOOTER is they really love to reference other musicians' work in a totally random manner. My theory is that the SCOOTER lads are actually total musos with a vast musical knowledge, getting a kick out of throwing in pastiches and homages of things you would never expect to come across on something as cheesetastic as a SCOOTER album. On the main album itself you get covers, samples, or snippets to such artists as OMD, Kim Wilde, Limahl, The Sisters of Mercy, and Status Quo, while the greatest hits record throws in East German folk, Supertramp, Billy Idol, and The Shamen; this is of course not including the endless nods to the KLF.

Yeah. Two men in a boat, with three cigarettes and no matches. How do they smoke?