Why Is "Death Proof" so bad?

As you know, in the USA Grindhouse was a long film of two segments, one directed by Quentin Tarantino (Death Proof) and the other by Robert Rodriquez (Planet Terror). In Ireland, these were split into two separate films, and I mentioned seeing Planet Terror in a previous zine. Since then I saw Death Proof on DVD in a friend's place. It is a very problematic film, being mainly composed of long scenes of excruciating boredom interspersed with a couple of scenes of action excitement. Its one great saving grace is a killer Tarantino soundtrack.

More recently, they showed the American Grindhouse in the Irish Film Institute. I was there. Planet Terror is still a most excellent film, not obviously cut for the omnibus screening. (Death Proof was a bit less excruciating than when watched on DVD. There was less of it, for one thing, as many of the dullo scenes of people talking nonsense were cut from it. I suppose also that I knew better what to expect.

Without going into the details of (Death Proof's plot, it does feature a lot of scenes in which women sit around having dull conversations. I have two contradictory theories about why these scenes are so awful. One is the idea that Tarantino, as a nerd, is entirely unable to write convincing dialogue for women, and instead has given us his version of how women talk and what they talk about. My other theory is that the reason why the dialogue is so awful is that it is too true to the way people actually talk. I don't mean that as a criticism of women, as this approach to dialogue only appears to show women in a bad light because of the film's shortage of male characters. I suppose what I mean is this – next time you are out for a night with some friends, imagine your conversations were being secretly filmed and then became the basis for a feature film. Can you honestly say that it would not be the most boring film ever made?

The double bill also featured all the trailers for fictional trash films that were included with the US release. Werewolf Women of the SS, Don't, and Thanksgiving were all entertaining enough, but each of them seemed very much to be a direct parody of an actual existing film. The star trailer film remains Machete, the story of a Mexican illegal immigrant bounty hunter who is double-crossed and left for dead and is now out for vengeance ("They just fucked with the wrong Mexican"). Mere words cannot do justice to this thing of wonder, and I urge you to look it up on YouTube and view it away to your heart's content. I have heard that is going to be made into an actual film, but I think there may be a slight [Citation Needed] aspect to such reports. Oh well.

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Olde Coen Brothers films

In the IFI I saw a load of Coen Brothers films again (and Raising Arizona for the first time). They were showing them to whet people's appetites for No Country For Old Men. I particularly enjoyed seeing Barton Fink again, as the last time I saw it my then girlfriend found it all too much and walked out of the cinema. The film is almost as oppressive the second time around, though at least you know what unpleasant thing is going to happen. Raising Arizona I found a bit strange. The print was not great for this, but I found it a bit hard to get over the kidnapping-baby premise and relax into this being a relatively funny film. The film is nevertheless an engaging look back to a time when Nicolas Cage was not That Cockfarmer Nicolas Cage, and it is the source of the line "As in, to swing".

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The Amstel Quartet

I have been a bit slack on the old Hugh Lane Gallery Sunday at noon gigs lately, but I did make one a while back that featured some Dutch saxophonists called The Amstel Quartet. This concert featured some annoying children whose parents had not taught them to shut the fuck up when going to classical music events, but it was nevertheless possible to enjoy the music. I can't really say too much about what they played, but I was amused by the reaction when they announced that they were going to play a Phillip Glass piece as a surprise encore. Basically you could hear this ripple of extreme approval going through the audience, bringing home the extent to which he has become a centrepiece figure of mainstream alternative music. I would love to know how this happened. I know Glass through his soundtrack to Koyaanisqatsi, with that film being essentially an extended promo for his crazy sounds, but it is hardly the kind of thing that Self-Satisfied Of Dublin 4 is going to watch on a regular basis. Or is it?

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World's Greatest Album Found

Perhaps unsurprisingly, it turns out that SCOOTER's Jumping All Over The World is the greatest album ever recorded. And it does have cover versions of tracks by Kim Wilde, the Sisters of Mercy, and OMD on it, as well as samples from Status Quo. I will of course go into more details in the pages of Frank's APA.

The record also comes with a bonus CD of the Greatest Hits of SCOOTER. Srsly goys, every home needs this record.

It is amazing to think how much everyone loves SCOOTER now, when you consider how much ridicule was heaped on my old flatmate when he bought a copy of ... And The Beat Goes On on spec.

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"Lust, Caution"

This film by that Ang Lee fellow bears comparisons with Paul Verhoeven's The Black Book, in that it features spies, occupiers, collaborators, weird sex, degradation of women, and so on. The film is set during the period when the Japanese were expanding their control of China, the story being about a woman using herself as bait to lure a leading collaborator to his death. There is a lot to like in this film, with the setting (occupied Shanghai and pre-war Hong Kong) in particular being very well evoked. The film looks great as well, reminding me somewhat of films by Wong Kar Wai and that guy who made Shanghai Triad in its stylishness and art direction.

The film nevertheless has features of which I am less fond. The sex scenes are pretty disturbing, and they do rather go on a bit and involve a lot of non-Euclidean geometry. I found the ending a bit unsatisfying as well. Stop reading now if you hate spoilers and are ever realistically likely to see this film. Basically, I did not feel that the heroine's decision to tip off the collaborator made narrative or psychological sense. You could imagine how someone in that kind of situation might be turned by the collaborator, through something akin to Stockholm syndrome. The film, however, failed to suggest that this was happening, and her tipping off the collaborator seemed to come from nowhere. For all that, the downbeat ending was quite striking, and I suppose the film must be saluted for its non-Hollywood approach to plot resolution.

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Faster. Harder. SCOOTER

The BBC reports that Scooter have kicked Madonna off the top of the UK album charts. Scooter's new album is called Jumping All Over The World.

The album includes covers of 'Enola Gay' (originally by Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark), 'Neverending Story' (originally by Limahl), and a song called 'Marian' which might be a cover of the Sisters of Mercy classic but probably is not. It is not clear whether the title track contains elements from Status Quo's 'Rockin' All Over The World' (itself a cover of a John Fogarty tune, according to Wikipedia). Other tracks include 'The Hardcore Massive', 'The Question Is What Is The Question', and 'Cambodia!'.

Further Scooter action:

Move Your Ass Poll!! (in which the good folk of ILX discuss the best lines from this most excellent song by Scooter)

The ultimate Scooter quandry... (what it is)

image 1 from BBC article, image two Wikipedia

"Cloverfield"

As you probably know, the conceit of this film is that it is meant to be found footage, recorded on a camcorder by the characters in the film. It starts with them being at a going-away party for one of the characters, but then the city they are in (New York, naturally) is attacked by a giant monster. The rest of the film features a lot of people running around going "Oh Jesus, what was that?" as they try to escape Manhattan or rescue friends or whatever it is that people do in this kind of film. I found it very involving, with the human scale treatment of something as outlandish as a monster-smashes-city setup being quite affecting. The original Japanese Godzilla film does something similar with one scene in a hospital for people who have been injured by the eponymous monster*. Cloverfield, however, eschews the Generals-explaining-plot scenes you usually get in this kind of thing, and is more effective for it.

I did hear that some people found the characters in the film annoying, but I found them sufficiently engaging that I started inwardly grumbling about horror film tropes that require them to be killed off one by one. The film does not in fact really go for that… I'm not saying they are all still alive when the film ends, but it does not kill one off every ten minutes when they move to a new location, disaster-film style. As a form of plotting I reckon this works well, as does having the camera be pointing in the wrong direction at key points in the film (as in, I still don't really get what happened when they tried to cross the bridge, but I know it was scary).

Favourite scary moment in the film: the "why are all the rats running in that direction?" bit. Or the "I don't feel well" bit.

Some people liked Cloverfield. Other people did not.

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*I am not the first person in the world to mention this.

Grey Squirrels Unhappy At Rise In Grey Squirrel Meat Consumption

The Guardian reports that the meat of hunted Grey Squirrels is rising rapidly in popularity.Killing the rodent for food is seen as both ethical and good for the environment, as reducing Grey Squirrel numbers helps their embattled Red Squirrel cousins.

Grey Squirrels are reputedly less than pleased with these developments, and point out that they have tufty tails and are able to perform a variety of endearing behaviours. Red Squirrel sources are also ambivalent. "If humans develop a taste for squirrel-meat", commented a well-respected Red Squirrel, "then none of us will be safe".

Me am brane #72

Looks like I forgot that Jonathan Richman was on tonight.

Oi! Blogger! Sort it out!

I really wish blogger would sort it out so that you could easily display links recent comments on the front page of a blog. I am partly saying this because I am, suddenly, getting some great waht is it maed comment action on my other blog.

Nice Art

I've only just registered what a talented artist "Masonic Boom" is. I mean visual artist, I still have not heard any of this Renaissance woman's music.

Printed Circuit

I was going to write about Printed Circuit, the electronic music group comprising Claire Circuit, aka Claire Broadley, and some other guy. However, ClaireCircuit has become MY ENEMY since I recently tried to buy her second album on line. Like a Nazi, she has pocketed my cash but not bothered to send me out the CD. If you live in Leeds and go to one of her concerts, I encourage you to stage a riot that ensures she never gets to play live again. Or pointedly ask her when she is going to send me my CD.

Also, would anyone like a PIRATED copy of her first album?

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The Fall "Hip Priest and Kamerads"

I bought this to get some tracks for the Fall-intro CD I am making for KevLol. Turns out that I should just have got Hex Induction Hour, as much of this is from there and the rest is slightly ropey live recordings. Nevertheless, the good stuff is great – if you like the combination of a persistent drumming led racket and stream of consciousness gibberish vocals.

This recording features the song 'The Classical', about which there is an interesting story. Reputedly, in the early 1980s, the Motown label was for some reason interested in signing The Fall. However, when they procured a copy of Hex Induction Hour, they heard the song 'The Classical', and were shocked to make out the clearly enunciated line "Where are the obligatory Niggers?". The record deal fell through, with The Fall being filed in Motown as being having no commercial potential.

Although widely repeated, this story appears to have no basis in reality.

At my recent 40th birthday party, some of the people got so into The Fall that they spent their taxi journey home doing Mark E. Smith impressions. Is it any wonder that so many taxi drivers turn into serial killers?