I've been thinking about lapdancing again. One of the great things that's happened here recently is the opening of a
Stringfellow's here in our great city. For too long we Dubliners have had to put up with inferior local lapdancing businesses; now at last we have something conforming to the very highest international norms. However, I gather that not so many people have been going to the club as expected. My suspicion is that this is down to poor advertising, and I feel that what Mr Stringfellow needs to do to get more punters is to utilise the power of the wireless. I am thinking of something with memorable jingles reminiscent of such classics as the radio ads for Northside Shopping Centre, Bargain Town, or the late lamented Nite Owls.
Anyway, I have helpfully come up with the words for this jingle, and hereby make it available to Mr Stringfellow at no charge. It is the least I can do to advance the cause of lapdancing in this country. So here are the words:
"If you want to see some ladies in the nip
Then come to
STRING-FELL-OW'S"
Try it at home, and see what kind of catchy tune you can come up with.
Here is a picture of Mr Stringfellow:
And look, here is John Stringfellow, pioneer of air travel:
The thing I always find amazing about Peter Stringfellow is that he puts himself at the centre of the publicity for all his clubs. Perhaps he could improve matters by letting some of the lovely ladies do the talking for him. And the being looked at and the being photographed. He is good at none of those things.
ReplyDeleteAlso John Stringfellow looks like a young Bill Oddie.
ReplyDeleteI hear he dances in the clubs himself, and you have to pay him to go away.
ReplyDelete