Claire Maguire was sitting at the café across from the British Museum where she had arranged to meet her colleague Lexa Hackett. Lexa had not arrived yet, so Claire occupied herself with a book she had brought over with her from Ireland. It was a detective novel. Claire liked detective novels, but she was not sure about this one. Why did so many of the characters in the book like wearing furry animal suits? It seemed a bit on the weird side. Claire sighed, registering that basically she liked the more formulaic and intellectually less challenging end of detective fiction. That said, she felt that this book was not so much intellectually challenging as just weird. Or maybe intellectually challenged.
"Rebecca! Good to see you again".
"And you, Alison, it's been too long".
Code-names a go-go, just in case.
"Do you want a coffee?" said Claire.
"I could do with something stronger. I think there's a nice pub round the corner, are you with me?"
Claire finished her coffee. "Let's go".
As they walked along Claire said: "How was the interview?"
"Weird. They're all freaks in that place".
"Did you find out anything?"
"Apart from them all being freaks? No. I wasn't able to look around on my own".
Over a pint of ale (for Lexa) and gin and tonic (for Claire), Lexa described her visit to Grieg Industries. She carefully made it sound like she was describing an actual conversation about employment to her friend "Rebecca", in case there was anyone listening in or for fear the place might be bugged. She made no effort to hide how strange the whole experience was.
"They're like Google crossed with the Scientologists run by David Icke" was how she ended up describing the place.
"Jesus", said Claire.
"I wonder do they all start normal enough and then end up like that?"
Later, when they were walking off to find a restaurant to eat in, Claire said, quietly, "I take back one thing I said earlier. From what you are saying, I reckon that everyone in the company could be in on it, whatever 'it' is".
"Yeah. They've all swallowed the kool-aid".
"What could this be about? A whole company like that is too big for it to be the passport forging operation".
"God only knows. I think we should find out. That's what the Chief would want us to do".
"He sent us here to find Ryan".
"Sure, that as well. But I reckon we'll recover Ryan if we work out what those weirdoes are up to".
"Let's hope so, I'd hate to think of anyone stuck with them".
They walked on. Where were they again? They had been hoping to get a curry on Brick Lane, but they had got a bit lost in the side streets from Liverpool Street. They were now in a less appealing part of town, not the kind of place you would want to be walking through if you did not know where you were going. And not the kind of place where you want to take out a map either. Claire remembered that this was the part of town where Jack the Ripper killed his victims. The thought was dwelling on her mind when she heard the sound of fist connecting with flesh and bone from down an alleyway, followed by moans of pain and the grunting of a person or persons administering a beating.
She looked at Lexa, who shook her head and pointed down the street in a "not our problem, let's keep going" kind of way. But Claire could not leave it be. She went to the alleyway and looked down it to see three hooded youths beating up a clown. "Not so funny now, eh?" said one, as his fist connected with the clown's chin. This one was made up as a happy clown, but Claire felt that she had never seen anything that looked more sad.
Lexa was behind her, whispering "No" and trying to pull her back but she pulled away and walked towards the scene of violence.
"Leave him alone!" she said in what she hoped was her most commanding voice.
The clown received a temporary reprieve as the thugs turned to face Claire. Their faces registered initial confusion that this woman was implicitly threatening them.
"Fuck off, bitch" said one, a tall youth with a ring through his nose.
"This joker had it coming to him", said another.
"I said, leave him alone!" Claire said.
"You gonna make us, bitch?"
"Go now while you can still walk", said Claire. She was aware of how unconvincing a threat this was, but she felt that she ought to give them a chance.
"Mouthy bitch, I'm gonna – " said the nose ring, lunging forward to give her a slap, only she used the judo training from the Organisation to dodge the blow and then grab and throw him. The impact of his face on the alley wall made an unpleasant noise.
A second hoodie lunged at her, but this time she sidestepped him and stuck her elbow in his face. While he was still dazed she brought her knee into his crotch and watched him double up in agony.
The third hoodie realised now that maybe the one-at-a-time method was not the best form of attack here. And he realised that with his two mates out of action it was too late for a change of plan. So he legged it.
Claire helped the clown up to his feet. "Are you alright?" she said.
"Yeah, fine, thanks", he said. Then he went and kicked the second hoodie in the face with his oversized shoes. "Laughs last laughs longest, eh? Parp parp!"
"Jesus, Rebecca", said Lexa, now approaching this miniature scene of carnage. "Was that really necessary? We're not here to be vigilantes".
"Your friend's a real barrel of laughs!" said the clown. He knew he was not being very funny.
"Leave it", said Claire. "She's not a friend of clowns".
"Are you a friend of clowns?"
"Well, I don't know", Claire answered.
"You are now", said the clown. "But I gotta be going. See ya, babe".
He held out his hand for Claire to shake. She took his hand and, of course, received a mild electric shock.
"Ouch!"
"Ha ha! Gets em every time!" said the clown, as he ran off into the night past Lexa.
"Come on, you fucking idiot, before that guy comes back with more of his friends – or the cops. We're not meant to be getting ourselves in trouble. We've got a fucking job to do and we're meant to be professionals". Lexa was angry.
"Oh leave it , will you? Maybe you can walk by while someone has the shit beaten out of them, but I can't. We're meant to be professionals, but I also want to be a human being". Claire was angry too.
The moaning of the two hoodies faded away as they walked on in silence.
20/11/2011
An inuit panda production
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